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Want to Get Through to Teens? Talk to Their Brains

Understanding the whole story about puberty and the brain’s evolution gives parents the pieces to complete the puzzle on how/why teens do the things they do.

In my decade of research and writing on brain development and the brain disease of addiction, understanding the whole story about puberty and the brain’s evolution gave me the pieces that finally completed the puzzle on how/why teens do the things they do and how/why their peers are so influential and why all of this is so instrumental in the development of substance abuse problems.

If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about. When your child is around 10 – 11, they still want to be around you, turn to you for comfort and guidance, talk to you about their day and may even still give you big hugs and take your hand. But then puberty arrives, and everyone’s world feels as if it turns upside down. And that’s because it does.

Way back in the day, man’s average lifespan was about 25 years. [Sometimes it helps to think of man as but one of the species that make up our world.]  For general, not-to-scientific discussion purposes, the brain organized into three general areas: Cerebral Cortex (includes prefrontal cortex), Limbic System and Cerebellum.  

The portions of the brain that were most used were the cerebellum – the “motor control” portion of the brain where the neural networks that control breathing, heartbeat, movement are found, and the Limbic System – the “reactionary” portion of the brain where the neural networks that control pleasure/reward, fight-or-flight, pain and emotion are found. It wasn’t until much, much later in man’s existence that the cerebral cortex (includes the prefrontal cortex) – the “thinking” part of the brain, where the neural networks that control reasoning, judgment, motivation, perception, memory and learning are found, evolved into what it is, today.

So what does all this have to do with puberty and talking to the teen brain in order to reach a teen, let alone have to do with the development of substance abuse problems?

There are three key reasons for puberty, which on average begins around age 12:

1. to develop the adult like body and the hormonal changes necessary to make the species want to have sex which then relied on the pleasure/reward pathways in the Limbic System that made the species enjoy sex enough to have it again and thereby reproduce.

2. to take risks (think of the baby bird who one days hops out the nest because something in its species triggers the timing of when it must learn to fly in order to stay safe, find food, reproduce and thereby continue the species)

3. to turn to their peers.

And believe it or not, without these three events, mankind would likely have become extent. Why? Because when a child reached age 12 way back in the day – the age of puberty – mom and dad were likely dead – remember, the average lifespan was 25 years. So there was no mom or dad to run interference. If the species did not gear up, so to speak, in order to want and have sex, take risks and turn to their peers, it would have stayed in the cave, and… well…so much for mankind.

Dr. Paul Thompson’s team has completed a time-lapse study of the brain’s development from age 5 – 20. Though this study and similar research, we now have the visual proof that the cerebral cortex portion of the brain doesn’t really start maturing until around age 16 and continues until an average age of 22 for girls and 24 for boys. It is this part of the brain that serves as the brakes on a teen’s risk taking behaviors. It is also this part of the brain that can think through actions and consequences thereof, before taking said action, and better sort through reliable sources vs. unreliable sources. It is this part of the brain that will help a teen become the adult, with the adult-like thinking, judgment, perception, reasoning skills they need to succeed. Unfortunately, it doesn’t start nor fully develop until several years after puberty begins.

Bottom line… until the cerebral cortex gets fully up and running with the critically important “thinking” neural networks in place, parents, teachers, coaches – anyone who engages with teens – need to better understand this brain development and learn how to talk to the teen brain in order to reach the teen.

For additional resources and images showing the brain's evolution and development from ages 5 - 20, check out this blog post of a similar name, Want To Get Through to Teens | Talk to Their Brains.

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Lisa Frederiksen is one of three Bay Area moms writing Parent to Parent ~ a blog sharing concerns about substance abuse. Cathy TaughinbaughParent Recovery and Life Coach and Founder of Treatment Talk, and Shelley Richanbach, Certified Addictions Specialist, Peer Facilitator and Founder of Next Steps for Women, round out the Parent to Parent team. Check back every Wednesday as one of these moms will share their expertise and personal experiences with substance use, abuse, addiction and recovery. And if you find yourself in any one of their stories, consider attending their March 3, 2013, Substance Abuse Workshop for Parents.

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Bren May 19, 2013 at 06:49 pm
I see that I meant to type "...that connect us to the past," but I accidentally typedRead More "...and connect us to the past." I think my meaning came through, though. Yes, the world does not need another national chain retail store or restaurant, which is surely what they're planning to put in there.
CP May 19, 2013 at 02:22 pm
Yes Bren, agree with you....good point.....really what it seems to come down to is money vs. theRead More good of the community and richness of traditions. And all despite the Master Plan for that site in San Mateo that seems to require an ice skating rink or similar recreational facility AT THAT SITE, and all despite the fact the Ice Chalet would like to continue operations there. The Developer has made it difficult to impossible for any ice rink to operate there (tricky it seems)....so they can get a cookie cutter retail outlet in ? .....very, very sad for the youth of the community.
Bren May 17, 2013 at 10:09 am
I think the issue is much larger than whether children will experience stress. That ice rink is aRead More local institution, dating back at least to when Fashion Island was there. It's terrible for communities to lose so many landmarks and connect us to the past.
Anita Reimann April 29, 2013 at 11:43 am
Dear Ari, Thank you for your service to our community. It's wonderful that you are already making aRead More difference.